A Crazy Who Need Help

Well, I am sorry for leaving this blog too long. And once more, a month without any post is really makes me feel regret but, I can do nothing. My beloved partner, Oentoeng, or if I made you confuse, you have to know that Oentoeng is my laptop, was sick. He have to get some repair and leave me alone for a while. You know what I feel? Oh man, I was depressed, okay, not as far as that maybe, but I smacked down by the truth. I put my newest story “when bitter feels like sweet” —that almost finished, which my spare time in holiday I spent to finish that— in program file, and they’re missing. That story has gone, that 20 pages story has gone before read by anyone except me.

Maybe I’ve being so crazy since long time. And now, I more than that. I just think about me, I was loving my self, do everything I want to do without care about others. I don’t know what people have in their mind, and it makes me really confused. I won’t be someone who just spend they time in vainly by just think what people think about them self and try to be the best of the best in front of people. Mustly, they know that people have so many pair of eyes, the have very various kind of perseption and it will just makes you crazy if you think you can standing on the top of them.

You can’t do any force to other people, so the truth which will force you to follow the colony or standing heavily by your self. And I choosed the second. I am standing, barely, by just smiling to the cloudy sky, while asking “when will they looking to me?” to no one. I got no answer, of course. So I just try to entertain my self, enjoy this unperfect life pervectly. I cook the best for my meal, I write a story, read it, admire it, and make another story, and read it, and admire it again. I draw a picture of my dream, see it, admire it, and make another one. Just like that, for a long time. I think it was better than waiting for people’s eyes to come and see arround you while doing nothing. At least, I am happy in this lonelyness.

I’ve waiting so long, but I just got tired. And now I am afraid to be more tired. Being underestimated is not easy. So please, anyone need me here? Please, help me, look at me, stay with me, accompany me to pass this dark way. Before my existantion is really dissapeared, forever.

I am a writer without any reader, I am a singer of the funeral house, a lonely hearted teenage of this year. Haha… Its perfect! Perfect time to give me all of those call name. Thank you!

If you’re bored, if you are a read lover, a sad ending romantic story crazy, come to me! I have many and I’ll give you free if you promised to read it and give a comment to me. I respect high everyone respect me! Bye~~

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